Tuesday, December 11, 2007

Funny forward I had to Share

I received this email from a friend (DI), thanks for the good laugh today. I repeat, I did not write this, I don't want any credit ( as not to be in trouble for plagarising )All moms and even those who aren't or have been, read below for a good laugh!!!

Dear Santa,
> I've been a good mom all year. I've fed, cleaned and
> cuddled my children on demand, visited the doctor's
> office more than my doctor and sold sixty-two cases
> of candy bars to raise money to plant a shade tree
> on the school playground. I was hoping you could
> spread my list out over several Christmases, since I
> had to write this letter with my son's red crayon,
> on the back of a receipt in the laundry room between
> cycles, and who knows when I'll find anymore free
> time in the next 18 years.
> Here are my Christmas wishes:
> I'd like a pair of legs that don't ache (in any
> color, except purple, which I already have) and arms
> that don't hurt or flap in the breeze, but are
> strong enough to pull my screaming child out of the
> candy aisle in the grocery store.
> I'd also like a waist, since I lost mine somewhere
> in the seventh month of my last pregnancy.
> If you're hauling big ticket items this year I'd
> like fingerprint resistant windows and a radio that
> only plays adult music, a television that doesn't
> broadcast any programs containing talking animals,
> and a refrigerator with a secret compartment behind
> the crisper where I can hide to talk on the phone.
> On the practical side, I could use a talking doll
> that says, "Yes, Mommy" to boost my parental
> confidence, along with two kids who don't fight and
> three pairs of jeans that will zip all the way up
> without the use of power tools.
> I could also use a recording of Tibetan monks
> chanting "Don't eat in the living room" and "Take
> your hands off your brother," because my voice seems
> to be just out of my children's hearing range and
> can only be heard by the dog.
> If it's too late to find any of these products, I'd
> settle for enough time to brush my teeth and comb my
> hair in the same morning, or the luxury of eating
> food warmer than room temperature without it being
> served in a Styrofoam container.
> If you don't mind, I could also use a few Christmas
> miracles to brighten the holiday season. Would it be
> too much troub le to declare ketchup a vegetable? It
> will clear my conscience immensely. It would be
> helpful if you could coerce my children to help
> around the house without demanding payment as if
> they were the bosses of an organized crime family.
> Well, Santa, the buzzer on the dryer is calling and
> my son saw my feet under the laundry room door. I
> think he wants his crayon back. Have a safe trip and
> remember to leave your wet boots by the door and
> c ome in and dry off so you don't catch cold.
> Help yourself to cookies on the table but don't eat
> too many or leave crumbs on the carpet.
> Yours Always,
> MOM...
> P.S. One more thing...you can cancel all my requests
> if you can keep my children young enough to believe
> in Santa.
> *Santa has asked that this gets passed on to all the
> mommies you know

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