God has been really teaching me something lately, LIFE is all about HIM. Several comments on my blog in the past few weeks, comments by a friend at Bible Study, comments from my husband, and just life in general have really been swirling around in my head this week. I am not sure how to put all of this into words, so I want to be simple, plain, and try not to ramble. I promise I have a point. . .
The other day in Bible Study my friend at georgia momwas explaining a quote by Oswald Chambers from the book My Utmost for His Highest. (this is an incredible daily devotional book I first read in college, get it if you don't have it) Anyway, I am totally misquoting, but basically it said, "If people go away from you thinking, she is such a great christian, she does such great things, etc. etc, then that's wrong, we should be pointing them to the cross and to Christ and to God, they should leave us thinking about HIM". Oh how that is my desire.
I want to be very honest, real, and transparent here. I AM NOTHING without Christ. Several people have commented to me they are in awe of me and what I do because I have 11 children, etc. etc. Please don't look at what I do and look at me, look at Christ and know I am here because God called us to this ministry. This is the hardest thing I have EVER done in my life. Not only the daily grind of completing tasks for a household of 13, but the emotional baggage this job carries with it. God is working in my life as much as HE is 'SAVING' these kids physically as well as spiritually; he is working on me too. Please don't look at my blog and think I have it all together, please don't look at us at church, school, the community, and think we have it all together. WE DON'T. Trust me, we don't. We are like every other family, we have disagreements ( more of them because there are more of us), we get sick, we forget to do laundry, we have dirty bathrooms with dirty bath mats, we forget lunches and homework in the mornings. . and the list is too long to share. I blog because I want others to learn from our mistakes and be blessed by what CHRIST has done, NOT US!!! I don't want any credit (disclaimer: except from my selfish post awhile back-see I am human, but then later apologized)
I have to tell many of you that don't know us in real life: My kids do an awesome job with their chores. I have 5, yes, 5, teenage girls that are moms in training!!! They help with so much around the house, and I know I don't tell them enough. I could not do this without them. One, begged her caseworker to find her a home with a baby. . ME was two months old when she moved in. She was literally like a surrogate mother for me. She helped ME and myself with lots and lots and lots. I could not have done it without her. I have taught these girls how to cook, clean, and do laundry. They are learning, but have gotten pretty good. They do a lot. My children have a chore every day, yes every day. Yours should too. It has done wonders for teaching responsibility and teamwork. So don't think that I do it all, I don't!!! The things that are getting done, I owe to my precious family. I guess you could say I am just a pretty good delegator (my very highest points on my spiritual gifts test was administration, are you shocked? -see, God given talents)
I am going to be really honest now and share with you what Chip Ingram calls "transparent character" and say that my husband has said for years, his biggest beef with me is that I won't admit when I am wrong. I am a work in progress. I want God to use that, chip away at me, and use me for HIS kingdom. God is working on me too, I struggle with pride just like everyone else. I would love to say, yes, I am great, I am the mother of 11 and I do it flawlessly, BUT I DON'T. I want to once again be real, authentic, and truthful. I am a sinner saved by HIS grace, I am not perfect, and I am learning everyday how to be more of a servant for HIM. To God be the Glory, not mine!!